Take The Long-View

I am a parent of two boys and two girls. I discovered years ago that each one is different, and I can see some of their mother and me in each one. Our first child was easy breezy! Because things were going so well, I assumed that my parental skills were tip top-WRONG! With my others kids, I learned what rebellion was all about, and frankly I was ill prepared. I just couldn't handle the level of disobedience that I was confronted with. In desperation I went into my parental power tool box  to use fear, intimidation, and shame to control the situation, and it worked for a while. But, when children consistently cross the line of clear boundaries, and purposely break well established rules, you got a PROBLEM! I am embarrassed to tell you this, but I blamed them. That's right! I blamed my teenagers for my inability to see beyond the short term. I learned the hard way that kids will be kids regardless of my rules and regulations. Looking back, I got a lot to make up for. Today I am a wiser parent with the use of my power tool box. I still spend a lot of time going through it, but not to use fear, intimidation, and shame to control the situation. The Word of God has taught me a better way, an easier way, which allows me to take the long view. I learned that when you can't change the behavior, work on changing the heart. Lavishing grace on your kids when you would rather use fear, and forgiving them, when you would rather judge, will change their heart. A changed heart always changes behavior. Now let me be clear, rebellion don't go away over night. It can keep going on, and on,  like the "energizer bunny." Instances like that, you might need God to change your heart before you can change their behavior. Rebellious kids will teach you a lot about your heart. This is the point: You must take the long view in your parenting. They will eventually grow up, and your wise parenting will eventually payoff. So don't give up or give in. God is on your side, so stay the course.